So that's all folks! It's been a hell of a ride, kind of like one of those old-timey wooden roller coaster that shakes you violently and uncomfortably for longer than you'd really like, causing chipped teeth and mild abdominal brusing, till it coasts into the station and you say to your neighbor, "Did we seriously wait in line for that?"This is the last official issue of Countdown, which will be replaced with Countdown to Final Crisis next week. And what a last official issue it was! Hoo..bingo. Let's get to review, shall we?
First of all, we could review the ways to ruin a surprise ending. There's the ever popular "mention the ending in another comic" method used to ruin the Sinestro Corps War and the first issue of Death of the New Gods. But then there's also that Countdown favorite, use the surprise ending as the cover! So I won't be spoiling anything by telling you that this issue ends with Jason Todd shooting Donna Troy. With a gun Bob the Monitor has been apparently carting around this whole time. Wait, Bob's had a GUN this whole time? What is with that guy being captain of the Useless Patrol? Jason offs Donna to prove his allegiance to Monarch. Which actually makes more sense than a lot of crap that's gone on around here. Let's remember, since he got Superboy-punched back to life, Jason's been a fairly unpleasant guy, not the loveable scamp we've seen here in Countdown. I don't necessarily think Donna's actually dead, although she's been dead about a dozen times before, so she's probably getting used to it. But for once, Countdown actually pulled a surprise that was at least mildly surprising and also made sense. And it only took them six months.
So the Challengers enter CtFC down two members and still stuck on Earth-8, which was a pretty stupid place to go in the first place.
Speaking of stupid places to go, Karate Kid, Singular Girl and World's Best Grandpa Buddy Blank take the kid who maybe might be Kamandi on a scenic tour of Bludhaven. No threat of impending death is going to keep Buddy from showing his grandkid "what the world could one day become." He's a tough kid, after all. I remember when my grandpappy set me on fire to show me that fire is pretty hot. It was a learning experience and I'm better for it.
Hey, it's Darkseid! And he's got a little Kid Who Maybe Might Be Kamandi chess piece! Oh, the foreboding of it all. And that look on Darkseid's face as he looks at the bottom of the chess piece clearly says, "Made in Taiwan, huh?" For those of you who aren't reading every other DC comic, you should probably know that at this point, everyone on the planet earth is working for Darkseid. Checkmate? Darkseid. Eclipso? Darkseid. Athena? Darkseid. Darkseid? Darkseid.
This week's barely intelligible award goes to Jimmy Olsen! Jimmy and Lady Forager have moved their poorly-dialogued tete-a-tete from the roof to the storeroom of the Daily Planet, and they've conveniently moved the Newsboy Legion to just outside the door. Huh? Congratulations, Jimmy Olsen, you've won Countdown's Continuity Error of the Week. What are you going to do now? I'm headed for Apokolips! Boom.
Mary and Eclipso (apparently they're close enough now that Mary can just call her "Jean" rather than "Crazy Lady Who Killed Sue Dibny" or "Spiky-Haired Embodiment of Evil") handily beat down Shadowpact. How did the 'pact's decision to hunt down Mary end up with her at the Oblivion Bar? Who knows? Countdown is too action-packed to deal with minor story elements like that. More importantly, Detective Chimp looks silly without his Sherlock hat, and our wacky Thelma and Louise analogs have headed far, far away. I hear Apokolips is nice this time of year.
Precious story pages couldn't be devoted to the Mary/Shadowpact story because they were so desperately needed for Roger Corman's "Locker Room Confessions" on Paradise Island. In a brief moment of respite, we get to catch up with some women we've never met and see Holly and Harley in their bathrobes. Then Granny Goodness releases the hounds! It takes another upskirt shot of Holly for her to realize things are maybe not what they seem at this particular insane Amazon boot camp. In the past couple hours, she's been attacked by eyeless sharks and weird hydra things, chased by dogs and flanked by armor-clad AMAZONS who, you'll remember, recently ATTACKed the United States, but it's not till she sees a prison tower that she realizes this secluded, shark-surrounded island is like a prison. Catwoman needs to get a little choosier with her sidekicks.
Piper and Trickster's plan to get very close to where the villians have been taken, get practically no new information and then run away succeeds flawlessly. Wait, that wasn't their plan at all. They do learn that Checkmate is RUNning some sort of prison called SALVATION. I guess they didn't know the name last issue, so they're up by one. But the original totally absurb plan to break everybody out of prison (which is a sure-fire way to prove their innocent of killing Bart Allen, which is what this whole thing is all about) gets abandoned in favor of MORE GAY JOKES!
Shouldn't Two-Face be upgraded to baddest-assed bad guy at this point? He was trained by Batman pretty recently. Of course, most of the One Year Later stuff has been abandoned, so maybe we should just put Face the Face out of our minds as well. Certainly no mention of it in the back-up feature.
On the subject of art, I've got to say the six panel grid seems blocky and slow, and there's no continuity between panels. Mango is on the better end of Countdown artists, but the two central fight scenes here are horribly laid out, making me wish Countdown would abandon these melee scenes altogether until they get someone who can draw them.
And thus, we reach the end of the Countdown to the Countdown to Final Crisis. Man, we've had some good times, haven't we? When I think of all the spinoff miniseries we still have ahead of us, I get a little misty, I tell you what.
3 comments:
I love your blog! I love the great sarcastic sense of humor with the review; it's perfect!
Reading your reviews of Countdown has actually refreshed my now distaste of the title.
I had been enjoying Piper and Trickster (who in the teasers is pictured in the second Trickster's costume ... hmmm ... maybe that'a a clue! :P .... but yeah ... they really aren't going anywhere ... just running around, and like an old cartoon or 60's TV Batman moment are able to come up with just what they need to escape from whoever's after them!
I'm gay, and it was pretty tasteless the "ironic" joke ... Piper telling Trickster "That's gay." "Gay" is this year's substitution for lame or stupid, and high on the offensive list for Rainbow People as the "F" word is, and I can't believe Piper would suddenly use it.
Then again, Piper as "The Pied Piper" is offensive in itself ... at least he's not wearing his old costume.
And, yes, we know Piper is gay, and that The Trickster is homophobic, but it's like, "Oh, let's keep mentioning the fact that Piper is gay. Just in case you didn't know, we just thought we'd single him out for you."
For all their talk about diversity, DC is too scared what a lesbian Batman character will do to sales involved with the upcoming Dark Knight movie, and lesbian scenes are highly sexualized to give those horny heterosexual men a good reason to pick up their titles. However, I suppose Holly Robinson hasn't been treated as such ... yet.
Still, what was with the girls listening to Holly's very vague descriptionof herself? Why are their hands place down in their laps exactly so. Or is this just the artist's attempt at realism?
We've been treated with such mediocre art inside the title, and apparently DC is doing their utmost to get the A list artists to take over ... and those on the title already are out of work.
I don't mean to be rude, and possibly the artists at hand are given difficult material to work with to spit out week after week, but still, where did they find them if they have no work to give them after this?
With all the mini-series out there based on Countdown, and the Challengers basicly having their own mini disguised as one-shots, why not the other characters ... oh wait ... then no one would pick up the book I suppose.
Still, we have tie-ins like Captain Carrot, so why not include them in the book at some point, or even have a surprise tie-in to "Smallville." Even so much so as having the Challengers appear on the tv show albeit briefly. If Martian Manhunter can be a black man with red glow-y eyes then why not, "Bob."
As for Jason Todd being a bad ass again, I suppose that was supposed to be surprising since we've been given this sentimental look at him and the forced romantic sparks between he and Donna Troy.
(I still like when Jason was all up in the Jokester's face, and Kyle Rayner had to intervene, Donna saying, "he didn't mean it!" It's like, wow, major denial for the one you ...ummm ... *like*?)
Still, there's a part of me that thinks Dead Robin is just doing this to get an inside look at Monarch's badness ... and in the end, only Donna will have truly believed in him, when all the others are ready to kill him once this great publication is at an end.
After all, he becomes Red Robin does he not? Plus, he finds Ray Palmer too doesn't he?
Also, if that was really Paradise Island ... er ... Themyscira ... wouldn't it have been protected by the force field with the brooding punished Hippolyta in the middle of it.
In any case, it's an island and one that obviously doesn't have prison vibes all around ... just to the back of it ... Holly can just take a boat with Harley and go home ... both better people at having gone to Extreme Boot Camp together and surviving. (Plus, Catgirl sure wasn't too much the detective when it came to deciphering who Harley was under the mask back those issues. Hmm ...a harlequin type mask ... and Harley no where to be seen ... hmmmm ... you don't think! and no, she didn't.)
Still, the way the writers are, they'll just say in hindsight that like the Piper, Holly is a homosexual, and as such was in too much awe at all the scantily clad women around her ... and that is also why she is has forgetten all about Karon, her one true love who is physically and mentally scarred back in Gotham.
But I will let you go ... what meant to be a simple thank you for this blog turned into my own blog, and for that I apologize!
Thanks for the wonderful comments/post. I'm utterly at my wits end regarding DC's sexual politics at the moment and that was leaving out the Batwoman decision. I think it's fairly in line with cultural standards to be more comfortable showing/implying girl on girl action than guy on guy, and of course the superhero genre has enough trouble suppressing its homosocial undertones, but I feel entitled to ask for more from the "new and inclusive" DC. To the best of my knowledge, there is no heterosexual superhero character whose sexuality is their primary character trait. Why is Piper's sexuality the only thing anyone on Countdown is concerned with?
Thanks for the reply!
It almost seems that if they continually point out that Piper is gay, DC can say that they are cool with his orientation, and that they are showcasing more diversity, when in fact he is more comic relief than anything else.
Society in general is softer on girl on girl, after all, it is "normal" that girls hold hands in public, but not boys. Not to mention all the heterosexual males out there quite willing to contemplate what could end up as a threesome with them!
Although I think one's sexuality shouldn't have to be pointed out, and in some sense, continually doing so only makes one seem contrary to the norm, in life many gays *do* identify themselves as by their orientation, and it definitely is a factor in one's life on many levels.
It was a big deal that Midnighter was the first gay male to have his own monthly title. However, I somehow doubt any skin shots of the purpose of turning on a lonely heterosexual teenage male ... or possibly a gay female who is not offended by the treatment of the sexualization of the character, as in The Question's case, would be showing up in this, or any comic book with a core cast member who is male and gay.
Often times, if there is a man on man scene in mainstream media, or comic books for that matter, it is used as a way to shock or make it seem wrong. One is more likely to see a rape scene than one of love.
Piper was an easy shot at being gay because in their minds, DC would think, and many readers, how could he be "straight". After all, he is good with phallic objects and wore something more flamboyant than even Liberace or Elton John may have worn.
Again, they have given him an edge, for his costume doesn't bite like it used to, and he doesn't have a limp wrist, but he is still shown as a joke. The straight man, if you will, to Trickster's "humorous homophobic romps" using his uncomfortability with being so close to a gay man. So basicly two men tied together, oh what mischief we can have in the humor department, folks!
Furthermore, these two characters are ones that have known each other for years. They fought Barry Allen together! So, I'm sure that at some point, they were able to get to know each other albeit somewhat, or has Tricksty really been that "ok with his fellow rogue being gay, just as long as he doesn't hit on him" scenario for all this time?
We are shown that his homophobic outburst are not called for,with the little bits of apology or th sighs from the almost noble gay guy, but in the end the reader is supposed to view The Trickster's lack of p.c. values as funny ha ha comedy.
Again, these guys have known each other for years. The story is never given a chance that to show that, yes, at first there may be high level of discomfort, given these guys have to go to the bathroom together, and sleep together and do everything together (and yes, Trickster could still be uncomfortable with his attachement), there could also be some character development and depth showing James Jesse actually realizing that he's not going to get jumped when he falls asleep and that being gay really truly is ok.
They are shown working together as a team to get out of one predictament to another, so why not show them working on learning and accepting one another. Or is all of this in one week? Because I have no idea what the time span is supposed to be. In addition to that though, would mean less funny, and thus ... less money! (a retro tv reference, and not movie, but hey, it's still Countdown and DOES tie into Harley Quinn ... SO....)
Another thing is that could be brought up is the fact that Piper is shown as weak. He is shown as cowardly when faced with saving the life of one of his best friend's relatives, Bart Allen because he does nothing.
Sure, he may not have been able to have fought off the entire rogues, and maybe it would have been blowing his cover, but I'd rather see that he got his ass kicked trying to save an ally or friend then to just sit back and sigh.
This observation could apply also to the fact that Piper wanted Wally to trust him but he doesn't trust Wally enough to stay put.
But perhaps I'm reading too much into that, but still, if the second teaser indicates, Trickster is holding a Piperless pipe, so maybe the gay guy gets killed. (And since the only Black character we have in Countdown is Mary Marvel, it alll makes sense! :P )
I think Piper is a great character, and even if he was straight, he'd be fun to work with, even if his powers may not be as uber cool as Batman or someone else. However, the storyline would have to change since there wwouldn't be a gay man to make the jokes with, since having two straight guys uncomfortable with their sexuality might indicate that DC wasn't all right with it.
I would like to know Phil Jimenez' input in all this. With all the gay jokes, does he think it's cool ... do they run them pass him or anyone else to feel it's safe enough not to offend? What about other gay DC staff? Are there any others, I'm afraid I don't know. It's not a big deal to me to know if an artist or writer or whoever is gay, but when it is known, it is nice to think that there's a role model of sorts out there for others. That us gay peeps are able to be accepted and contribute to the comic book industry and ...but I digress.
As for Batwoman and The Question, it's not only less frowned upon for girl on girl action, it's great TnA coverage, and I've talked with female comic book readers who too are lesbians, and they are more offended with the gratuitous portrayal of a character like that than having a character NOT a lesbian. (We also got same treatment with Knockout and Scandal in Birds of Prey and Secret Six.)
What's funny is that it has been acknowledged that Wonder Woman is bisexual ... she has said it herself before that "she didn't have a boyfriend, but that she didn't have a girlfriend either." (I think that was in WW second series # 200, if my jumbled memory doesn't serve me wrong.)
Early on in the Perez series, the Amazons admit to having pleasure from "lying with one another," and it would only be natural for an island free from males. And, in Jiminez' run, we read of actual lovers on the island, and that Di's own mama was in love with a woman.
The Golden Age Wonder Woman stories were full of homoerotic sensiblities (not to mention bondage, bondage, and did I mention bondage), but nowadays marketing would prevent that such a display of Diana on top of another woman naked would ever enter into an official comic book.
Nor would there be even a story showcasing the love of Diana to another woman. The outrage that not only some fans might express but mainly media, focus groups, and parents, would end that before it could get started.
Again, Batwoman is a start, but still, a lesbian redux on a character that hadn't existed for years is still small fry. Maybe I shouldn't expect so much, but it would really show DC's stance on diversity if, say, Supergirl was a lesbian, or even the deceased Kon-El was in fact gay or bisexual. (A nice fantasy of mine is that at least Kon was gay, and Cassies was his cover until he was ready to be out, and then it was only revealed that after his death, he too had a video, and he mentioned his star crossed love was Robin. Hey, I have to make do some how!)
Everyone jokes that Batman is gay, even though he obviously likes the women, and it would mean incest with all his sons, but since the thought is there (and I admit a(nother) wishful fantasy for me [that he liked his men, not his boys!]) then go that route.
"We at DC have declared this press conference to announce something of a milestone. We are announcing that Batman is indeed Bisexual.
"We feel strongly that in this day and age we can comfortably write stories that showcase that Batman can both love women or men and be every bit as much a hero.
"We felt with the jokes and rumors, that it was time to take an influential icon and show that being gay is not the same thing as a pedophile. That it is not deviant.
"We intend to show Bruce Wayne reconcile who he is and that it is a part of him, and that he's happy with that, and unashamed in showing it.
"Being a 'Rainbow Person' does not necessarily mean one is a stereotype or generalization, and we intend to explore his character as we always have in the past, with respect, dignity, and of heroism, and this aspect of the Dark Knight's personality will only add to this."
Although C-list, and now Limbo-list, Peter David's portrayal of Comet, was a breath of fresh air.
Not only did we have Supergirl dealing with her outing as a super hero to her parents and the rejection she at first received, we saw a gay character deal with her outing as a lesbian and the conflict in her family, and the devastating consequences that resulted. It was all done in a real life way, and also done without Andy's parents walking on her and her girlfriend in their birthday suits with chains, fetish gear, and leather sheets as a way to hide their "naughty bits".
Not only was her orientation dealt with, and the fact that an outing of a super hero's alter ego can be seen in similar fashion.
(I've been into comics and super-heroes since I was three, and at 31, and only realizing I'm gay since I was around 20 ... it doesn't seem so hard that I'm not able to be out to my parents (as they are extremely ANTI-gay) when I think I'm like a super hero hiding who he really is ... that I can actually relate to my heroes, it doesn't hurt as much ... sometimes)
The issues of being transgendered and of bisexuality are also brought up with the two-souls-in one with Andy/Comet and their eventual relationship with Blithe.
The fact that Linda Danvers also had to reassess her own feelings for her boyfriend being a female as well, was also a nice touch.
True, again it was a female character as being outed, but it fit the title of the book, as well as how real for once a gay character was portrayed.
Holly Robinson as a prominent gay character in Catwoman also served to show real diversity. She and Karon had a relationship that wasn't forced; it was loving and warm, and portrayed as something normal not something just overtly sexual.
She is not Montoya'd in CD/CDTFC, and it's rather remarkable they've allowed Holly to access the rest of the mainstream DCU has been a treat, but she she is still shown as a woman who has become strong in body, but not necessarily her mind. Example: she seems one minute to think it is a trap or peculiar the whole Amazon thing to being completely surprised that she's possibly a prisoner.
Granted it may be a bit unsettling to see modern day prison like settings on an island that's supposed to be mythical and "Paradise" and all ... still even an added, "Oh *^&%!" would help in showing she's not the Post-IC incarnation of Dumb Bunny.
"It's like a prison or something. Wow! I guess this is going to be like that movie, 'EScape From Alcatraz'. OOhh! I guess that means I'm in trouble. No! I broke a nail!"
In any event, Letdown ... I mean Countdown could definitely be worse, and that would include us readers not having your blog to help us out!
I seriously think that if I keep this title til the bitter end into "Final Crisis: The Last Crisis For Maybe 20 Years or Until More Legends or New Invasion," it'll be simply because it will enhance your amazingness that is this blog!
Post a Comment